I went back before dawn. They were still cowering there,
praying to their God for salvation. They didn't know that
their only savior was at the waterfront, dining on rats.
walls of the city vibrated with riotous drumming. War
chants and screaming filled the air, echoing behind the
hot snap of fire and the crackle of gunshots. Spike's
favourite part, however, was the smell. Terror, waves
of it, thickened the smell of the city, touched with the
slight sweetness of aggression. Fury. Delicious.
waterfront was almost deserted. Thin, dirty, the Huangpu
river seemed stagnant in this part of the city, the poorest
part. It lay lank and greasy against muddy banks, and
reflected a horizon lit up by burning buildings, and splintered
by the tall tapering masts of junks resting over night.
ran down the wooden slatted path that led to the riverbank,
inhaling deeply and then regretting it. Down here by the
water, the foul smell of rotting wood and old vegetables
was almost overwhelming – especially for vampire senses.
But he couldn't stay inside.
than the buildings, Spike's skin was still burning from
his earlier killing. He could feel her blood rushing through
him, making him stronger, faster, more alive. It was exhilarating.
He wanted to fight and fuck and everything in between.
He wanted to kill. So he'd snuck out, leaving Drusilla
sleeping (he'd never need to sleep again) and crept between
the riots and missionaries to find a kill he could take
a nice long time over.
had spotted the young woman crouched over a stinking dead
body in a doorway. He had shown her his true face to make
her run, and then chased her down here. Against the water
he could hear the butterfly-flutter of her racing heartbeat.
stilled, focusing on the sound, on where she was hiding.
A breeze picked up her scent and carried it to him. She
was just ahead of him. Moving forward silently he followed
the smell, the sound, every tell tale sign that told him
where she was, until he came to the water's edge. The
heartbeat stuttered and increased. Spike grinned. She
was here, tucked almost underneath a small rickety dock,
and she was shivering.
ceremony, he reached down and dragged her out by her long
black hair. She was crying, stuttering in Chinese. He
didn't need to speak the lingo to know what she was saying
– pleading was an international language.
took her arms and lifted her up until her head was level
with his, her toes just dancing on the floor, and he grinned
as she struggled and kicked. A well-aimed foot made him
wince briefly and he shook her, feeling her bones giving
and shifting. She bit her tongue. The smell of her blood
filled the air, and she licked her lips, coating them
screamed as Spike snapped back into game-face. He could
feel her heartbeat pounding through her veins, his still
body picking up the vibrations. For these few precious
moments he had a heartbeat again. His head made to swoop
down, eyes focused on that delicious blue vein in her
full yet boy?”
head snapped back up. His body jerked taut as for the
first time he started to assess his surroundings. He picked
up movement from the corner of his eye, and for a moment
the gloom danced and flickered and he couldn't trust his
senses, couldn't see who it was.
the blurs solidified and Angelus stepped out of the shadow
of a boat nearby. What light there was lit his face harshly,
making him look even harder and colder than usual.
having a quick nibble.” Spike said jauntily, though he
couldn't quite manage a smile. This new Angelus, this
only recently returned Angelus, was an unknown entity.
Spike had found himself increasingly unnerved by the watchful
stillness, especially when they were alone. He didn't
know now how this Angelus would react to things. Spike
hadn't felt this feeble hesitancy since he was first turned.
It was… unnerving. He didn't like it.
were in full light.” Angelus said quietly, casually inspecting
his nails. “And didn't even bother to check for danger.
Careless. Thought I taught you better than that.”
glared. Angelus was criticising first – some things never
changed. “Well I forgot a lot of things in the two years
you were gone. Like how to take orders.”
expected a frown, but Angelus surprised him with the hint
of a wry smile. “Darla must be losing her touch.”
conceded this with a nod. Then he spoke again, the words
pulsing out of him before he could stop them; a life of
their own. “You forgot things too. Forgot to say goodbye.
Forgot to say when you'd be back. Forgot my name is Spike,
now. Not Boy, or Sweet William, or any other pansy name
you have for me. Spike.”
just looked at him impassively, unimpressed. Spike shook
his head once, snappily, and sighed. He was irritated
with himself for saying the things that had been going
round in his head since he'd walked into Darla's suite
and seen Angelus there, reclining on her bed as though
he'd never been away.
hands tightened around the girl who had gone limp in his
hands. She'd fainted. Fuck, it was so much more fun when
they were awake. He shook her, trying to rouse her, stepping
closer to Angelus as he did. He wanted to get away from
whining Will and be Spike again. Spike wouldn't give a
fuck what Angelus did.
a drink? I could be persuaded to share.” He let a shred
of flippancy into his voice.
hesitated, eyes darkening as his looked at the girl. He
looked hungry. HE stepped forward, almost stumbling, and
then stopped. “No… thank you. I just ate.”
eyebrows rose in surprise. “Never known you to refuse
a meal before.”
glowered. “She isn't much of a meal.”
scrawny little thing, for sure.” He shrugged. “Oh well,
your loss and all that…” He bent his head to her neck,
then noticed that Angelus had turned away.
Not even gonna watch?” Angelus was definitely not himself.
eat like a pig,” was all the response he got.
snorted a laugh. “Oink.” He said, and returned to his
meal. He sank his fangs slowly into her neck, enjoying
the layers of flesh. He shook his head messily to maximise
the damage and flow. Blood gushed into his mouth. Young,
delicious, hot… God she was so hot.
tightened his grip, losing himself in the sensation of
draining her. He felt her wake up with the kick of her
heartbeat, and the muscles under his teeth flexed as she
tried to gasp. Instead a gush of blood filled her throat
where his fangs had completely pierced, and she started
to choke and splutter. He grinned around the bite.
he found himself eating air.
he said, stumbling with the loss of her weight to keep
his balance. He looked up to see Angelus holding her by
enough.” Angelus said briefly, before turning to the girl.
“Get lost.” He shook her once, roughly, to make sure she
didn't pass out again.
the fuck was that?” Spike asked, watching as his dinner
staggered up the bank. He was too shocked to even attempt
to stop her escaping. “Angelus?”
stayed silent, staring into the dirty water. As always,
Spike could handle anything except silence.
What's going on?” He stared at Angelus' back. “You got
something better in mind? Or is this some new kink? Saving
people? C'mon, what's the game?”
not a game.” Angelus glanced up, looked as though he were
about to turn away again, when his attention was snagged.
He walked towards Spike slowly, and Spike didn't know
whether to back away or meet him in the middle. He settled
for shifting nervously on his feet. Had he done something
to warrant a beating? He couldn't remember. He could never
stopped when the toes of his shoes touched the tips of
Spike's much dirtier ones. Spike tipped his head back
slightly to meet his gaze. But Angelus wasn't looking
at his eyes. He brought a hand up and stroked a finger
diagonally across Spike's forehead.
silence was deafening. Angelus traced the finger down
Spike's face, finally hooking it under his jaw and pushing
his chin up.
throat tightened with the movement and he didn't know
whether he wanted to laugh or the other thing. Angelus
was behaving so oddly. Did he want to fuck? He didn't
usually waste time with gentle touches. Maybe he was looking
for a fight, but, well, ditto. Spike swallowed through
the constriction, and Angelus' eyes followed the movement.
His throat seized up. He tried again. “Angelu—”
up, boy.” said Angelus, his eyes sliding down the column
of Spike's neck.
paused, then said, very very softly but clearly. “I'm
not your fucking boy.”
expected to be hit. Maybe even wanted it. But Angelus
merely responded quietly with: “No. You're not.”
was unsure how to respond to that. So he got cocky. He
tipped his head back. “That's right. I'm better. I killed
a slayer not four hours ago. And I don't fucking save
people. You really are living up to your name, Angel.”
said Angelus bitterly. “That's right. I'm an Angel.” He
wrapped his hands around Spike's upper arms and bent his
head to Spike's neck, inhaling deeply before dragging
his tongue along the length. Spike was so surprised he
let out a faint yelp and felt immediately ashamed. But
it was brief and wet and almost ticklish and felt surprisingly…
good. Angelus pulled back, his eyes dilated, licking his
lips vaguely.Angelus lowered his head again, lips against
Spike's neck. “How did it taste?” he muttered, and Spike
shivered as his felt Angelus' lips, breath and voice against
He felt dazed, these two caresses more intimate-seeming
than years of fucking.
head came up, close and frowning. “The girl, her blood,
I want to know how it tasted.” He shook him slightly.
frowned. “Well, like blood. You know how that tastes.”
growled. “Just fucking tell me. Describe it to me.”
felt bewildered. Again. Fucking hell, what does he want
from me? he thought. Angelus' eyes were black in the light,
his body pressed so tightly that Spike felt the automatic
need for fresh air for the first time in years.
hot.” He said, not sure what the game was. But then, Angelus
had said it wasn't a game, hadn't he? “Yeah, hot and kind
of spicy. Rich, and sweet ‘cause I'd been chasing her,
and you know how you always said that made it sweeter.”
closed his eyes, crowded in even further. Their foreheads
touched. “Yes. I remember. Don't stop.”
wasn't sure he had much more to say, but knew when not
to disobey. He started to get creative. Perhaps it wasn't
so bad, this poetry stuff, after all. “It sort of exploded
into my mouth as her flesh gave; popped. It was juicy,
like figs, and slick, pumping into me, heating me. She
tasted like honey and butter together, sweat and blood…”
was panting ever so slightly now. It was the first time
Spike had ever seen his Sire do something so blatantly
human. It made his voice stutter to a halt, and Angelus
to opened his eyes. He looked hazy and languid, like a
long slow fuck. Spike felt himself harden.
looked at his forehead again, then at his neck, then at
his mouth, and lowered his head once more. Spike expected
a kiss, and parted his lips, but instead felt Angelus'
tongue stroke lightly at the corner of his mouth, just
a taste. He pulled back for just a second, and Spike licked
his lips automatically. Their tongues touched.
was a long pause in which neither of them moved. Then
suddenly Angelus lunged, pushing into Spike's lips roughly,
making his head snap back. This was more of a bite than
a kiss, it was unsubtle and rough and painful and there
was some blood.
had been surprised at how much he'd liked the gentle touches.
But this he knew he loved. His fingers twitched at his
side, wanting something to touch, to grab. Angelus' tongue
pushed into his mouth, and he caressed it with his own,
winding his body around Angelus' at the same time as his
mouth opened and he let his head fall back, passive and
accepting. It was a response that had been half beaten
into him years earlier, and one which he had down to a
he realised, this kiss was different to any they'd shared
before. For the first time Spike didn't really feel like
Angelus was kissing him. This was… different. This was
more like Dru's kisses, he realised. When she kissed him
she was almost never really there. Sometimes, certainly,
it was carnal and immediate and bloody wonderful. But
sometimes it was something else. Something distracted
and not a kiss, but as though she were searching for something
else. She often had visions during sex.
kiss was like that, and Spike wondered what Angelus was
searching for. He was being kissed breathlessly, deeply,
Angelus' tongue searching his mouth as though… suddenly,
Spike understood. This wasn't about him. This was about
blood. It had all been about blood. The touch to the forehead
– he hadn't washed since killing the slayer; the lick
on his neck – where the girl's blood had trickled down;
and this kiss. He wanted a taste.
eyes opened and he tried to pull away, wanting to tell
Angelus to find his own dinner, but Angelus brought a
hand up and tangled it in Spike's hair. The kiss, if possible,
deepened. Angelus stopped demanding, and started stroking,
and it made Spike, against his better judgment, want to
purr. Any protest hazed away and his eyes drifted closed
again. This was probably the longest kiss they'd ever
shared and Spike felt himself losing to it. To Angelus.
He didn't mind.
moved closer and felt a bulge pressing against his hip.
He rubbed his body against Angelus', who in turn thrust
back, pushing and stumbling until Spike realised they
were in the shadow of the ship where Angelus had been
felt the cold wood of the junk against his back, and as
Angelus pushed against him again, getting into a rhythm,
echoing the drumbeats that made the shacks along the waterfront
shudder. He felt little splinters work into his skin through
his top. Fuck, that hurt. Miniature stakes, he supposed.
mouths parted briefly and Spike was left gasping. He hadn't
realised that he'd missed this. Angelus gave him a darkling
look in the half-light and pushed a hand in between their
bodies, worming his way into the front of Spike's trousers.
felt the easy tug of familiar routines pull at him. There
was nothing quite like this feeling of being bound down,
at someone's mercy. At Angelus' mercy. It was titillating
and daunting and uncomfortable and… right all at the same
time. And he hated it as much as he craved it.
the same time as he felt Angelus' cool hand touch his
erection, Spike felt equally cool lips return to nuzzle
at his neck. The two together sent a flash of electricity
through his system and he moaned, his head jerking back
and banging into the boat behind. He saw stars.
He panted. “Angelus.” For a second his neck felt the press
of teeth. Then Angelus pulled away. He was a discomposed
as Spike had ever seen him; collar askew, coat crumpled,
remember? I'm an Angel. Call me Angel.”
was a bitter edge to his voice and Spike looked uncertain.
He retreated once more into bravado. “Call me Spike.”
Angelus grabbed Spike's hair and smacked his head back
into the boat behind.
mouth returned to his neck, and Spike felt the insistent
tug of sucking. Right over the place where he had been
bitten for the first time. It turned Spike's knees to
hand on his cock was working him rhythmically, but without
much focus - all of Angelus' attention was on his
neck, and the pull of suction slowly started to become
painful. Spike bit his lip and tasted blood; his blood,
the girls, Angelus' and a hint of slayer. It zinged through
him and made him harder. He brought a hand to the front
of Angelus' trousers, but as he slipped the first button
through its opening Angelus growled and grabbed his wrist.
He slammed it back against the boat, away from his erection.
felt little points of pain-pleasure running through his
body. Starting with his wrist it spread down to his neck
and shoulder, pinned uncomfortably back against the junk,
along his spine, stretched and rigid, and ending at his
cock. It was taut and made his head spin.
Angelus' face had changed and Spike hadn't noticed. He
felt the pull of lips become the press of teeth, hesitant
and suspended. Spike tilted his head back, offering, almost
pleading. Angelus' body shook with a helpless groan, and
then his control snapped and he lunged, finally burying
his teeth in Spike's neck.
let out a strangled yelp as he felt his throat constrict,
tighten around the fangs, and he closed his eyes, finally,
completely, giving in. He felt great surging pulls drawn
out of him as Angelus dropped his still-hard cock and
instead gripped both his shoulders, bearing down with
his teeth. Spike felt his erection subsiding, but didn't
was slowly washing away and he could almost hear the waves
as the world receded. Drum beats became dull echoes and
then shadows; a baby's crying fizzled and rippled away;
the sound of Angelus' throat working as he swallowed the
still-warm blood muted and died. All Spike felt was the
connection. Teeth, blood, flesh. It was like being turned
all over again. He could almost feel his heartbeat slowing.
Louder this time, dully resounding. He wasn't sure if
he had said it or Angelus.
has to stop.” There is was again, louder this time. More
teeth in his neck had gone, and Angelus was holding him
you alright?” he heard Angelus say, but couldn't find
the energy to lift his head – it lolled on his shoulders
like one of Dru's dolls that had been bad and mangled.
felt warm and sated. Lazy, like a heavy sleep that you
can't shake off. He tried to grin.
plunge of river water shocked him back to coherence. He
gasped again – turning into a bloody fish, he thought
– as he was pulled out by the scruff of his neck.
me now?” Angelus asked, staring at Spike solemnly, dropping
his grimy collar.
pushed his wet hair off his forehead, grimaced at the
taste of the water. Foul. “Just about.” He said. He was
still breathing heavily, like an idiot. He half-tensed,
remembering the number of times he'd been cuffed for displaying
such a human weakness, but then realised that at some
point Angelus had been breathing too. The memory almost
made him grin. Ha.
glanced down then looked quickly away, and Spike realised
that his cock was still hanging out. He tucked himself
away and did up his trousers. He felt weak. Almost drained,
Angelus said quietly.
looked up in surprise. Had Angelus ever apologised for
anything before? Ever? He didn't know how to react. Maybe
it really wasn't him. There was a long pause.
fret about it. I've had worse.”
was just—” he stopped and brought a hand to his forehead
as though he felt dizzy. “You were so… hot.”
looked away. He was so… timid, thought Spike. Apologetic.
world was coming back to him in guttering bursts; heat,
fire, smoke, blood, death, screams, river, China, Slayer,
Dru. He started at that last thought, feeling – rather
ridiculously – like he'd betrayed her. God knows why –
this was nothing new. It was because of Angelus, he realised.
He was changed, subtly so, and it did feel like he was
leaving Dru out of something new and different.
up with you?” Spike asked quietly. “What happened when
you were… gone?”
glanced at him sharply, pulling further away. “Nothing.
Nothing happened. I'm fine.”
shook his head in disbelief. Fine. If that's the way he
wants to play it. “Well of course. You've had a full meal.”
He brought a hand to his neck. It was throbbing and felt
hot and raw. Angelus watched him, looking ravenous again
for a second before he shuttered his eyes and turned away.
in the darkness like strangers, Spike hadn't felt this
awkward since that time he'd had to escort his cousin
Emily to the dressmakers. He glanced away, down, and was
disgusted to notice two dead rats on the floor at his
feet. He kicked one into the water.
twitched at the dull splash, and muttered, “Darla. I have
to get back.” He turned abruptly, and made his way to
the uneven wooden path. He didn't wait to see if Spike
followed. Spike didn't tell him to stop. It seemed a lot
like running away.
Angelus, thought Spike, tipping his head back with a dry
grin. Takes what he wants and then fucks off. Just before
he went out of sight, Angelus stopped, turned his head
slightly and looked at Spike from the corner of his eye.
He nodded slightly in acknowledgement. In goodbye.
head jerked up, but Angelus was already gone.
wiped the blood and river water away from his mouth with
the back of his hand. “Angel.”